Saturday 22 March 2014

LIFESTYLE SEGMENT-11 THINGS MEN SIMPLY DON'T UNDERSTAND ABOUT WOMEN

WHAT DO YOU ALL DO TOGETHER IN THE BATHROOM?Is the question that pops in his head hahaha!!!The whole “men are from Mars, women are from Venus” thing is total bullshit, but there are still some things that men just cannot wrap their heads around Heres how this is wink wink ;)

1. Bra sizes. We understand the basic concepts of A and DD and that there’s also number but we have absolutely no point of reference. We don’t know what chest size a 36 actually is. Also, the whole idea of chest underwear. We don’t have to deal with it.
2. Tampons. So you women just like, stick them up there right? We’re pretty sure we know how they work, but it’s not like we’ve ever seen them in action. How do you get so good at concealing them? We’ve never seen an unwrapped one in the wild.
3. Periods in general. Do you bleed the whole time? How do you know when you’re done? Can you feel it all day? Yeah, health class taught us the logistics, but we still have so many unanswered questions.
4. Girls night. There is no male equivalent. What do you do when you’re out? Is it a secret meeting? WHY CAN’T A GUY COME TO CHILI’S WITH YOU?
5. Heels. How do you walk in them without literally snapping your ankle? We could barely handle Nickelodeon Moon Shoes as a kid. We don’t have the grace to walk around on something like that.6. Shoes in general. We have like, three pairs of shoes tops, and they each perform unique functions. We don’t understand a fourth, let alone a 24th.
7. Going to the bathroom in groups. Guys go to the bathroom, hope it’s empty, and if there is someone else in there, you do not acknowledge them. No eye-contact, no small talk. You are in, your penis is out, you’re peeing, you’re leaving the bathroom (don’t forget to put your penis back in). Why would you willingly bring people in with you while you pee?
8. Why you insist on our opinions when we don’t have one to give. What color should we paint the wall? We don’t know. We don’t care. Ok, if you need an answer, how about white? White isn’t a color you can paint a wall? See, we’re out of our element and we just get yelled at for giving you an answer.
9. How women always smell good. What is it? What do you do? Is that your natural musk? Guys always smell like sweat and Subway sandwiches and a bunch of cologne.
10. All those skincare products. We have soap, probably shampoo, and maybe moisturizer. What are they other things you guys have all over the bathroom? How do different parts of the skin need different things? It’s literally one organ.
11. How you look good at the gym. Why do you look like you stepped out of a fitness catalogue while we’re standing over here in our raggedy-ass sweatpants with broken elastic?